First the thrilling follow up to the Bridge of Death! Like before see the scene replayed with previously unshown footage of Cody and Ted leaping to safety at the last minute. Finally successful in bringing in much-needed cash, the Moon Men’s hired thugs learn that their evil employers have changed their minds again. This time they want to set off an atomic explosion in the crater of a dormant volcano. Why do they trust these incompetent fools with their plans? They want this to happen because this will set off worldwide flooding not seen since the days of Noah. Odd when the Avatar blows up a volcano he destroys the Abyss (Ultima reference!) The thugs rent a plane to carry out this fiendish plan. They blow up the volcano with an atomic blast that’s about the magnitude of a couple sticks of dynamite and flooding ensues. Then it subsides with no apparent affect, and Cody tracks them. A balsa-wood-furniture-breaking fight ensues, after which the thugs kidnap Ted. Ted predictably escapes, and Cody chases them into a corner. Out of bullets, the thugs knock Cody over a cliff with a big rock. Is this the end? Of course not. Now the film.
It starts with the Slime People just showing up. They crawl out of the sewer and it shows a guy I guess they speared.
Get used to the fog!
Then it shows a guy piloting a plane. He wants to land in San Diego and they tell him to leave Los Angeles area and head North. Of course he doesn’t listen. Otherwise this would be a worthless scene. He wanders for a bit and finds no one. He finds some people in a car and it’s a professor and his daughters Bonnie and Lisa. Also the guys name is Tom. He drives off with them and they talk. They tell him about how the Slime People attacked LA, beat the army, and surrounded LA in a wall of fog. One of the daughters is an ungodly amount of perky. Funny thing is Tom is completely rational, but the moment the Professor brings up fish in the sea Tom immediately says he’s crazy and wants to get out.
Our heroes! Perky girl, brunette girl, mandatory scientist, and Tom
He is then shown the destroyed LA landscape. They find a crashed car with a corpse and a spear. Now he believes them, but the dome part sounds irrational. They find the footage about the Slime people and it shows a news report (Also note the crew member whose shadow can be seen). It shows some reports that just confirm that the people were evacuated from the beach areas and the military engaged in “hand to hand” combat. Why? You have guns! The reports talk to Dr. Bro and he confirms that they are fish creatures from the sewers and lived for many years long ago. They don’t know how they make the fog, but they know its so they can live on the surface. The next report i- HAHAHAHA! You can practically ONLY see the fog! I can barely make out the guy’s face! Apparently the fog hardened around and killed a guy.
The sad/best thing is that this isn’t the foggiest shot in the movie!
So the fog is now stone. Fantastic. Then some guy throws a film canister at them so Tom punches him in the face/ Joel and the bots engage in Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert jokes that are just bad. Two random drunk characters now for some reason. Then the sewer opens up and some Slime People show up. The costume is pretty good. A full body suit with wet, slimy scales, ridges on the back, and little whisker things.
They run in a building and they meet a guy with a gun and run some more. They get outside to safety, but a Slime Person gets through and they easy fend it off with a fire extinguisher. It gets through again, but they close the door on it and then all the fog vanishes. His name is Calvin. The fog appears again and the slime people kills the drunks. I love it. The fog just follows them wherever they go! They rest in a TV station and they try to contact the people and inform them they are attacking the area. Calvin is apparently a Marine. Bonnie is so ungodly amounts of perky. They plan to leave in the morning, get some chemicals, and try to break through the fog wall. But hey enough smart talk. Time for out of nowhere romance! Bonnie and Calvin immediately hit it off and he flat out asks if she had a boyfriend. Jesus dude time and place there a Slime People trying to kill you! They hook up I guess. The romantic saxophone, stilted dialog, out of nowhere kiss, and they say they’ll continue it later. Yep it’s 50’s romance! Gee wiz (He actually says that!) this movie is fun. Cut to the morning and Tom wakes them all up. They say they’ll do shopping separately. I think they mean looting. So Professor and Calvin talk about how the fog machine works and when the Professor leaves and he immediately hits on his daughter. She takes the words right out of my mouth, time and place. They meet an old friend of Tom named Toliver. He says the Slime People are fake. Ugh… I hate people. When does he die? “We shouldn’t leave him Tom.” Please do. He is sadly brought in, but thankfully they leave his goat. Yay the fog is back! Toliver is gonna die! Tom and Professor are gonna look for the wall and are ‘only’ gonna go 300 feet. Last time someone went out of sight about a hundred yards he was sent 100 years in the future (Twilight Zone reference)! They wander for a bit as the fog fills the screen and they look for the wall. Then they find the Slime Creatures! More fog! MORE FOG!!!
THIS IS AN ACTUAL SHOT OF THIS MOVIE!
The Slime People tug on the rope so Calvin and the girls run after him leaving the rope with Toliver. Oh god there is so much fog! I can barely see the screen! So they find the wall and start to set up the chemicals. They wander hilariously through the fog and now I think they’re gonna shoot each other. I think Bonnie got lost in the fog, but I can’t see a thing! They get back to the cars and Toliver complains to them about reckless driving and how he’ll make a book about this, despite the fact that he still doesn’t believe in the Slime People. “I’ll start with you all in the fog!” That exactly what the director said to every scene. They drop him out of the car and leave. See even the characters don’t like him! Please die Toliver! Sadly a Slime Creature apparently was in the car and attacks them. They drive off with Toliver with them and in tears. “I’ve never seen anything like it!” I COULDN’T EVEN SEE IT! Oh god…WHERE’D ALL THE FOG GO! Oh thank god! It was all in the town! The movie looked naked without. Also they just said they were low on gas. They were on the highway/mountain side. Then it shows the exact same car pull into town. Short drive. They hide out in a butcher shop and they immediately ambush them! Toliver drops to his knees and still believes they are a figment of our imagination. Then they leave him to die. Thank god I hate that character type! The idiot disbeliever who tries to dispel all of it as a hoax or prank. The conclude that they can get through the wall with salt cause Tom’s plane touches salt water and got through. Only with massive difficulty. So Calvin and Bonnie off alone. Two people dyin’ tonight!. No even a minute outside and Bonnie is already captured! Great plan military guy! Don’t then know to never split the party? Tom and Calvin meet in the fog and he drops his gun when they saw a Slime Person. Idiot. They make it back and conclude that Bonnie is still alive to lure them out. No for food and breeding purposes! They open the door and a Slime Person walks in and Tom just shoves it out and closes the door on its foot. They conclude that the Slime People are self-sealing. They go out looking for Bonnie and I’m fully expecting them both to drive off the side and into a building due to how foggy it is. Hell they hit two slime people and almost hit a pole. Okay the driving sucks! They are just shaking the car from side to side! They hop out of the car and run down a hill. They try to find her, but like the rest of the movie it’s just lost in the fog. I guess sound doesn’t travel far in the fog cause despite he shrieking like a banshee they don’t hear her! They find her hair though. In a wheat field, at night, in a massive fog! Thankfully the Slime People have no peripheral vision because a bunch of Slime People walk right past them! WHAT! They returned from commercial and a Slime Creature was killed and Bonnie was saved! Was this a joke on how seeable the movie is! Cause that’s both brilliant and hilarious! They find the fog machine and instead of destroying it, they go back to the Professor and Lisa.
The mighty fog machine of evil!
They leave to destroy it and there is so much fog I thought they left and entered onto the same set! THEY DID! HAHAHA! Calvin and Tom leave and Calvin has proved to be more of a liability than anything. Then Calvin and a Slime Person get into a fistfight and it starts with Calvin getting backhanded and falling back. He grabs the spear and pulls a Lavitz/Albert where he lifts himself with the spear and kicks it in the face (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxhO55Tt-aE Not as complex, but you should get the gist). Cue Star Trek fight score! Then I guess Calvin kills it, but once again the fog is so thick I can’t see anything! Tom wanders around and beats Slime People for a while. The rest arrives and Calvin goes in to help, but our hero has got it in the bag. Lisa is almost captured, but Tom tackles it and the Professor kills it with a spear. As they get closer and closer to the fog machine the Slime People close in. The Professor throws his spear at it and I kid you not, IT EXPLODES! Jesus Christ! Don’t mess with the Professor.
One of the most badass professors ever!
The Professor and Tom have more kills and impressive feats than Calvin. The fog disappears and all the Slime People die. The end.
In the intro Joel and Tom get up in the morning like normal people. Frustrated, grumpy, and still tired. Crow, on the other hand, is aggressively chipper. He makes up a morning poem. Joy oh joy. It’s pretty funny because of how true it is for morning and non-morning people. Invention exchange is cartoon eyeglasses that grow and shrink for Joel. Screaming cotton candy for the Mads. Eh, neither is all that good. Next skit is a fake court case about them convicting Commando Cody for crimes against reality (and bad acting). Crow is against him and Tom is all for him. They play up the courtroom clichés and it ends with Joel smashing C.C. with his gavel. It’s kinda funny. Next skit is Joel and the bots start talking about how the movie makes no sense then they go on a tangent. The tangent is talking about a show where some guy gets stranded on an island and makes robots out of boat parts and is forced to watch bad TV shows. When asked how they eat, Tom says, “You should relax it’s just a show”. UGH! That joke sucks! Next skit is a joke on how this movie has endless amounts of fog! You can barely see a damn thing! There are times when the screen is almost completely white! This skit is hilarious. I love fog machines so much! They can cover up the entire screen and you can make them settle for any time of day. A future movie has so much fog it’s practically night in almost every outdoor shot. I’d love to see the directing.
‘We got this good shot here, but you know what it needs fog! Lots and lots of fog!’
‘But there’s already so much fog!’
‘Well there’s not enough fog! (Waves fog machine around for like 10 minutes) Perfect! Action! (Actors stumble into each other, everyone misses their spots, no one can see a thing) And CUT! Perfect print it!’
I love this episode! It’s got good riffs, a funny skit, and the movie was fun. The movie is dumb and un-seeable at times, but goddamn is it funny. I have a soft spot for monster/alien attack movies and this I’ll be honest. If I saw this as a kid, I would have loved this movie. It’s got good tension, a good lead (Tom the Reporter not Calvin the Idiot Marine), it has its fun moments, and it starts out solid to an incomprehensible (and blinding) middle, to a tense ending. Some people might hate the over use of fog, but I find it funnier than anything. Check it out for a fun dumb movie. Riffed or not. Oh and Commando Cody. I didn’t like it like usual.
Episode Rating – 6/10
Movie Rating – 7/10
Favorite Riff – “Oh no does this mean we have to see clearly for the rest of the film!?”
Possible Stinger – Professor throwing the spear and blowing up the fog machine.
Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feIygqcw50A
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfHJZxVK00g