204 – Catalina Caper

catalina caper 1

The film starts with the Warner Brother’s logo and once again opens with an animated opening. Similar to Moon Zero Two. The credits are a scuba fiver hitting on a mermaid and being harassed by a hungry piranha.

Catalina Caper 2

It ends and leads into a party on the beach! With lots of fire! Also dancing bikini women. I can get behind this movie. Then a Danny Devito look alike sneaks into a house and tries to rob it. A cop goes by and misses him despite being in plain sight and making lots of noise. The cop blows a whistle and it cuts to a ship whistle. Amusing edit. Two people go on a boat called S.S. Catalina and they apparently know one of the ship workers. Also the thief goes on the boat and apparently he stole a scroll worth half a million dollars. Then the comedic relief shows up and trips on nothing. The two guys engage in conversation and it’s very difficult to hear what they’re saying. The lack of a mic and the sound of the ocean is going over them.

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Our heroes

One of the guys meets a girl and they talk about the ocean. Tom Servo is immediately smitten by her. Then his friend takes her away with women. Then they put on some music and start singing Little Richard. Holy crap that actually IS Little Richard. Well that scene was a thing that happened. They get off the boat and ocean girl has a boyfriend, which makes our male lead unhappy (Named Don)! Thief talks to a guy and his family who visited Catalina to pass off the scroll, but they want to give a fake so they can sell the real one for more. Also comedy guy is spying on them. I guess he’s a cop. Then he falls again. How funny. Then Don’s friend (Named Charlie) shows Don around Catalina with his sister Tina. From how the glass is positioned and lit it kind of looked like it was censoring her chest. They meet the man (Arthur), his wife (Anne), and a very old son (Tad). Then Charlie’s gal pals show up and Tad is suspicious of his dad’s behavior. Funny guy washes up on shore and I fully expect a “funny” moment. Aaaaaaand nothing. Don, Charlie, and Tina go scuba diving. Then it cuts to two guys talking about the scroll land how they know Arthur will betray them. Don and Tina talk about scuba diving and make sex jokes. You can cut the sexual chemistry between them with a spork. The thief and Arthur talk for a bit about the business of crime and the trade off. Oh great, “funny” guy. Guess what? No humor! Then a scuba diver swims onto Arthur’s ship and demands the scroll. They get the scroll for him, but in a struggle they drop it in the water. They get out of the water then Don hops into the water and Charlie jumps in after him. The man sent to get the scroll, for no reason, attacks Don. He disconnects his air supply and Charlie saves him. They get back to the boat and….that scene was pointless. They get back to Arthur’s ship and one of the sea cops talks to them. Arthur lies his ass off and how the hell do people not see that he’s lying. Charlie, Tina, Don, and the gal pals arrive at a yacht party. They party and show close ups of women dancing. Then they play some beach volleyball. This movie whishes it could be as awesome and gay as Top Gun. Don then hangs out with Tad. Then Creepy Girl shows up, much to Tom and the rest of the men’s delight. Tina however is unhappy. I don’t blame her…wait. Almost twenty men run after her at the mere sight…she might be a succubus. Wait no she droned on and on about water. She’s a siren.

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Tina takes Tad with her to try and make Don jealous. Cut to more beach volleyball. Creepy girl and Don meet up in the water and I think her top fell off. Yes it did. They make small talk. They go looking for creepy girls boyfriend and it cuts to the evil diver getting two other divers to help him look for the scroll later. They ask what they’re looking for, but he says it’s none of their business. Then how will they know if they’ve found it? Also “funny” guy is spying on them. Creepy girl’s boyfriend Angelo is one of the evil divers and flips out when she went out to look for him. Ass. They get into an argument and fade to black. Then…Charlie is inspecting all his girls and they go in a kissing line. How does he do it? Must be the bleach blonde. Tina shows up and is giving Don the silent treatment and becomes super bitter when Creepy girl shows up. She flips out and leaves. Through Tad they find out that Angelo is working for evil diver. Then Tina fakes drowning in four-feet water and “Funny” guy slips on sand. Hilarious. The “funny” guy saves her and it’s funny because he’s the “funny” guy. Then she slaps Tad and Don for not getting there soon enough. I could say a lot of words….but I won’t. Then all the girls just start slapping all the dudes. One girl claims “They all would have gone in if SHE (Creepy girl) was drowning!” Um….Tad and Don went in, but “funny guy” just got there first. I could use a lot of words, but I am a gentleman. Then the guys walk off. This scene is completely superfluous. Also “funny” guy just swung his fishing line out and pulled a girl’s top off. Ha. Ha. Ha. I really hope you all realize I’m being sarcastic. Then the band plays more music to mend the hearts and party. Superfluous scene. Then “funny” guy gets more shtick. Arthur and the thief show up on the beach and they talk to the gang. He convinces them to come aboard his yacht for a scuba diving party, when in actuality he is having them search for the lost scroll. And “funny guy” trips over his umbrella. Ugh…I’m done being sarcastic. They all go down to search for the scroll and the evil divers show up. Cut to “funny” guy on a boat and WHAT!? Two guys playing trumpets and one guy playing guitar UNDERWATER! I’m as confused as him! Back to the plot apparently! So the evil divers get on Arthur’s boat and draw guns on everybody.

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They surrender!

Someone comes up with the scroll and the evil divers take it and ru- I mean swim off. They try to worm the info out off Arthur, but they don’t say anything. At the same time Tad and Don were right next to them. Also the scroll they found was a fake one. They organize a scheme with Charlie to get the scroll back and make Tad’s parents swear off thievery. Tina apologizes to Don to for fake drowning and slapping him. Don distracts them and the evil divers follow him as Creepy girl shows up and they take the scroll from Don. The evil diver urns off and they start a tussle with Angelo. You know what’ll kill the mood for this somewhat tense scene? “Funny” guy falling again! This movie over uses jokes as much as Family Guy. They knock Angelo out and they chase after evil diver. Boring chase ensues. Evil diver is cornered and “funny” guy skates into evil diver and they fall into water! Not even a smirk. Just a frustrated groan. Ugh…nine more minutes. “Funny” guy is a cop and arrests Arthur for stealing the scroll, but the case is empty! So funny. More partying and credits. Invention exchange is the Literal Tank Top for the Mad and Joel turns a bazooka into a tickling device. Odd, but funny, especially the Literal Tank Top. Next skit is Joel explaining the 60’s to Tom & Crow. The problem is that he was a young boy during the 60’s so it comprises of the Brat Pack & the President. Kind of funny. Next skit is Tom singing about his love for Creepy Girl. Pretty funny. Next skit is Frank trying to entertain and sell stuff to the Mole People, Frank and Sylvia. Unfunny. Last skit. Joel and the bots talk about the movie and how it made no sense so Joel busts out a flow chart. I usually don’t bring up letters, but this one is sweet and written in calligraphy. A couple fell in lover over MST3K and announced their marriage on the show. Adorable. The movie can be summed up in one word. Superfluous. Most of the scenes could be cut, “funny” guy was worthless to the plot, and all the party footage was just padding. The episode itself wasn’t all that great and was boring the whole time with the occasional funny riff. This is an episode where the sketches were really funny, but the episode fell flat. I really, really don’t recommend it.

Episode Rating – 2/10

Movie Rating – 2/10

Favorite Riff – “Look she lost the bone in her neck. Look at her go!”

Possible Stinger – The musicians playing underwater and “funny” guy looking confused.

Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhLblf-3O2A

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEhCyv3RFGo

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