Yet another Gamera movie. Now in color! Has series won me over yet? Probably not. The movie starts with Gamera escaping the Plan Z rocket, which was hit by a meteor. Also apparently the first movie happened six months prior. He falls down to Earth and attacks a power plant/dam for energy. Then he just flies off. I can only imagine Kenny flipping out about this. However he decides to destroy the dam thus killing lord knows how many people. Then Gamera takes a dirt nap in a volcano. He’s ignored for most of the movie. Then we see two dudes flying a plane. One of the guys talks about quitting so he can gain more experience in flying. Then four or five people in kimonos being covered by branches playing sitars. Then in the next room we see three dudes standing around a table with grenades and guns. The pilot from before enters and talks about working with them to own his own aircraft company. The leader talks about an opal the size of an ostrich egg he hid in a jungle before going to a POW camp. The other guys are skeptic, but they agree due to the possible wealth. They get fake identities and talk about their plan. Don’t know why they’re making such a big deal about this. Next shot us them working on the ship where they’re bossed around by Japanese Mr. T. Then they show up to an island were we are greeted by a lovely group of dancers who are sadly scared away by the helicopter they took.
I’ve always been hesitant about islands in movies, but I can get behind this one.
The trio meets up with the natives and a very beautiful Asian native speaks English/Japanese depending on your version. They meet a doctor who loves the land and the Asian girl Karen is his assistant. The doctor tells them to never go near the cave and its name is Rainbow Valley. The people are forbidden to go there and they all die if they go. Supposedly an evil spirit lives there, but the men ignore them. One of the men fires some warning shots and they run off into the jungle. Then we see the men in the cave and they find the opal and man is it impressive. Then the guy who found it was killed by a scorpion. His death is indeed very funny. Also Jesus Christ that wound infects quickly. In a moment from swelling it turns purple and gets many rashes. This upsets the pilot, but the other guy doesn’t mind due to having the opal and being able to split it more. Our pilot obviously doesn’t trust him with the opal so he asks for the gun. The jerk/obvious evil guy walks off to look for more jewels and the pilot continues to mourn and finds a picture of the dead man’s wife and son. As the pilot continues to mourn the evil guy lights up the grenades via fuse and they explode. The pilot wakes up at the village…making me wonder how he got there considering that they don’t go into the jungle and cave. E looks out the window to see them praying. The doctor comes in and he talks about the opal and the fact that it isn’t an opal. The opal burns out of the bag holding it and it starts become white and yellow with heat. It moves around and it breaks open to show a small lizard like monster. This is baby Barugon. We see the man who took the opal playing cards on the boat and the boat begins to shake violently as Barugon breaks a hole in the ship. This is on the water and it shall contradict what we know later. Then the boat explodes as the people jump off. The man lies to the person who hired them saying his brother (the pilot) died with the man with the family. Barugon becomes giant sized and comes from the water once again confusing me because of reasons later explained. Barugon is different from the Godzilla monster Baragon, but not by very much. They have very similar names and have very lizard like appearances. While Baragon has next to no powers, Barugon has some cool stuff up his sleeve. He has a horn, long and spiked tail, has an extending tongue, and he can even shoot ice from his count to parallel Gamera. He has another attack, but that’s a secret.
Barugon and Baragon. Two totally different monsters.
The brother wants to wait for the monster to leave, but the other man wants to go now. The brother wants to leave, but the man is very insistence. The man admits to killing two men for some reason and the brother gets furious and starts beating him with his crutch. They get into a struggle until the man wounds the brother and his wife. He takes the money from the apartment and runs. Barugon arrives in Osaka and starts destroying it. The military arrives to stop him, but you all know how well that goes. He freezes all the tanks and Barugun starts messing around. And freezes everything in sight including the Osaka Castle pagoda. Same pagoda that was crushed by Anguirus in Godzilla Raids Again. Don’t know if I’d rather watch this movie or that one. He freezes a bunch of planes and they amusingly keep flying for a bit. The military talks for a bit and they pan to defeat him for a distance with some missiles behind him where he can’t be hit by the tongue or ice. Barugon wakes up and is alerted to their presence. Then he shoots rainbows out his back, which completely destroys the missiles. That’s right. He shoots rainbows out his back. That’s something I admittedly love about Gamera movies. The monsters are so random and have the weirdest/coolest powers and designs.
Gamera is attracted to heat so he flies towards Barugon to get to the rainbow beam. Then we see the footage of people suffering, ripping off the scene from Godzilla. Then Karen and the pilot show up to get the opal/egg back, but they see Gamera. Karen immediately faints and says she arrived to late when she saw Barugon. Karen thankfully knows how to stop Barugon so they leave. The man tries to run off with some money, but the pilot catches him at the apartment so they start fighting. Also the brother and wife were killed in the Barugon attack. Karen and the pilot beat him for a bit until they get bored I guess. They tie the man up and leave him to die I guess. Then Karen cries in his wound I guess. I just realized that everyone looks like they have bright red eyes. Karen tells them how Barugon is weakened, loses power, and dies in water. Making me wonder how he survived when he erupted from the ship and into the water. Nevertheless they decide to lure him into the water with a very large diamond because he apparently loves bright jewels. They decide to go with the plan. Then the guy gets saved by some lady and he hears of the radio announce the plan. Wise move. Also the diamond is 5000 carrot. Barugon get bored I guess so he does back to Osaka. The military general berates them for failing. Then a doctor shows up to help with fighting Barugon. He reveals that Barugon was exposed to inferred rays in his egg, which hatched him prematurely and grew to his size ten years early. They expose the diamond to inferred rays to lure sucessfuly lure Barugon. They stall the process by making it rain on Barugon thus weakening him severally so he can’t use his ice breath. They shoot Barugon with a ray powered by the diamond and hope for the best. They shoot the ray and it attracts Barugon. He follows them, but the ray short circuits and the lights stop working. They turn the lights back on and it attracts him again. The man gets mad and goes to steal the gem. They get to the water, but the idiot villain steals the diamond and he gets into the water. Barugon is attacks him and eats him and the gem with his tongue. With no options left they try to produce more rain to paralyze Barugon again. They find a remnant mirror from the jeep that was destroyed by Barugon’s rainbow beam. They decide to make a giant mirror to reflect back at Barugon. They theorize that the rainbow will defeat Barugon so they enact the plan. They bother him with some missiles and the rainbow beam does indeed wound him. However he is not dead so they all despair that nothing can kill it. Then at the nick of time Gamera shows up to fight Barugon. Gamera was apparently frozen by Barugon (which I think they didn’t show) so they fight bow, Gamera throws him in the water and before he can fight back Gamera starts to drown him, Also ALL THE BLOOD! Sure its all purple, but it’s still spurting everywhere! Gamera brings him to the bottom and drowns him.
This also cements Gamera’s role as Earth’s hero. Karen and the pilot have more romantic talk and they mention that greed shouldn’t lead people. The pilot admits loneliness now that his brother and friend are dead so I assume he stays in the village with Karen.
Opening skit is Tom and Crow debating MAC (Tom) or PC (Crow). I’m more of a MAC guy, but PC is gaming from what I’ve heard. It’s a little funny. Invention exchange is a Soda Can Animation for recycling commercials for Joel and the Disco Cumber-Bubble-Bund for the Mads. The Mads is pretty funny. TV’s Frank should be the new face of hip-hop. Next skit is a toy set with 5000 pieces of soldiers, helpless individuals, and many, many more. There’s also a monster specialty pack with Gamera that shoots real fire and inflicts real pain, Barugon with ram tongue action (surprising that they brought him up considering that it wasn’t seen or mentioned yet in the movie), and many more that shoot fire. Also many, many, many, many, and many more things in the movie. Very funny. Next skit is dumb. Tom and Crow are giant monsters on a girl’s night going to a TGI Fridays in Japan. Not all that funny. Next skit is Joel and the bots talking about the drive in theaters and they name the stars in Gamera vs. Barugon. He mentions Willem Defoe a lot and he shows the same actor several times. Kind of funny. Final skit is Joel and the Bots talking about Gamera’s novels. He apparently worked behind the camera more according to Joel. Unfunny. This shouldn’t have been a Gamera movie. It should have been like the first Rodan and Mothra movie or Varan the Unbelievable. Just have it called Barugon (maybe add a subtitle), cut all traces of Gamera (which isn’t much), and alter the ending so Barugon is killed by his own rainbow beam. Then it would be perfectly fine. As a Gamera movie though it lacks a lot of Gamera. Thankfully it lacks the annoying little kids. It’s honestly my favorite of the Gamera movie so I’d recommend it. The episode is all right. Not as good as the first one, but still good. The skits were hit or miss, but the jokes in the episode were mostly funny. I’d recommend it.
Episode Rating – 7/10
Movie Rating – 9/10
Favorite Riff – “Aw shoot I should have been out of the cave first! What was I thinking? Note to myself. Get out of cave before blowing it up.”
Stinger – The doomed treasure seeker freaks out (at first with joy, then with pain and terror) as a deadly poisonous scorpion stings him.