324 – Master Ninja II:

The Master Title
I feel like I should repeat my comments from last time I did Master Ninja cause it’s the exact same opening credits. So anyway we begin with an opening narration from out hero Max detailing what happened last episode. Lee made Max run a bunch to get him more fit. Then we watch some motorcycle footage. Max immediately gets into a fight with a biker, but turns out they’re buddies. They share a tight handshake and almost broke his hand. Then we see the girl of the day arguing with some guy. As she walks off he creepily licks his lips. Then the race. I’m getting major Sidehackers flashbacks. Max lost to our girl of the day. He immediately asks her out too. She turns him down. Whenever people are around me and they talk about the Union I get really bored. Why bring this up? Cause this episode is about the Dock Union! A guy screws up with a crane and almost crushes a guy. The only reason why he doesn’t die is cause Lee uses his ninja skills. We get our gal trying to form one and I just don’t care. Cut to our duo talking in a motel and Lee suddenly lies on the floor and passes out. He uses the ninja skill to pretend death. This’ll so not come into play later. Max goes to a bar and we see our girl get harassed and not served. The villain of the day tries to scare Lee, but Lee just doesn’t bother him. Max actually is a swell guy and purchases two meals for him and the gal. Max gets in a scuffle that ends with him getting thrown through a window like usual. Then the gal gets attacked and the villain tries to kill them. I know I don’t care about the topic, but why do these people want to stop a damn Union?! So she explains that everyone related to her brother got killed and she just walks off. Why not keep her with you? So in the morning she keeps pushing her Union. The villains chat about the previous scene and they talk about killing her. The villain is about to throw her our and Max intervenes. She has her Union meeting in a church and Max looks bored out his damn mind. She’s like the only person who wants a Union and they don’t want to give up their paychecks for a strike. Max makes a speech and the people who just said they couldn’t sign are suddenly able to sign. Lee gets attacked by a bunch of thugs, but Max swoops in on his bike. The villains give chase in a dull action scene with groovy music. Lee destroys their car and our heroes escape. They go to help her and they see that her home was ruined. Oh no. That’ll take like a day or two to clean up. Then they make out. Damn I need to learn his skills. Lee dons his ninja gear and Max fights the security guards. They search for evidence on her brother’s death. The gang gets chased by the same van and some more cars. They try to shoot out heroes and with a shotgun at pointblank range. They check on Lee and he’s using his ninja heart technique. Max flees and they don’t both chasing him. Max runs a bunch and meets up with the girl. He gets her to run with him and they immediately run into the thugs from before. They go to a graveyard and they are going to kill and bury our heroes. The thugs suck at digging too. Lee gets up and frees them. They kick ass and save the girl. The end of this episode. Despite the lack of interest in Unions I did like this episode.
Next episode starts right up with the action. Max is flying a thing and saves a girl from a car that won’t stop. Max flies over Lee and drops the girl into his arms. This girl is blonde and cute. As a way to make up for saving her, she invites them to a party in a fancy place. A bunch of commandos talk about kidnapping the Senator (whom is the gal’s dad). The rebels argue amongst themselves about killing and ethics. At the party the gal gets hit on by this guy in a fancy suit. We meet the Senator and our heroes show up. I love the two have chemistry with each other. We see a guy walk up to Lee and….Is that George Lazenby? Yes it is Lazenby. You give up James Bond to be in a bunch of junk. This is not one of those junks. Then cut to commercial and everyone was already taken over. I love the edits in these episodes sometimes. The rebels kidnap the the Senator’s daughter and several guests. George shoots a tracking device onto a helicopter and the gunmen cannot hit shit. Lazenby tries to track them down, but we cut back to the cops. Max and Lee were arrested too. There’s some exposition about the villains of the day that doesn’t mean much. Lazenby tries to break into the villain’s hideout and takes pictures of it. There’s more talk at the police station about hostages and stuff. George makes a good point that on one can climb a 70 foot wall, but then they remark that a Ninja can’t. Lee wants to go without Max and as he gets ready he finds the chainmail ninja from the first episode. A brief scuffle becomes a sword fight that Lee flees from. We cut over to the hostages. They’re all upset and stuff. The villains show up and are just there to be all intimidating and stuff. Max manages to find the building and Lee is barely able o climb up. Max manages to get in via the air thing from earlier. George pathetically climbs the wall and he looks like he has to stop and wheeze at every moment. Max lands in and begins to get inside the building. Lee is watching the villains and can easily just kill them all with shurikens. Lee goes to save the hostages and George gets captured. As day comes the villains talk about executing everyone. Max arrives in time to save the gal and they manage to save the hostages. George is held at gunpoint and tied down by our villains. Max fights the female villain and knocks her out. Lee takes the villains weapon and knocks him out. So George was useless to this story. Everyone escapes and the villains are captured. Max kisses the gal and leaves. The end.
The into is doing improve. They are in cream of wheat, Tom is Peter Gabriel, and Crow is anger. Pretty funny. The invention exchange is the Conveyor-belt Buffet for the mads and the SoL crew made the Gerbilsphere 2. Neither are all that funny to me. I like how the Mads are just sort of at a loss for words on how to say it’s a bad movie cause after Fu Manchu you can only go up. First movie skit is the Bots showing off their ideas for custom vans. Eh. Gypsy’s is Richard Basehart, Tom’s has Conan artist, and Crow’s is himself. Middle skit is short and sweet. Crow plays General Timothy van Patten. Funny. 2nd to last skit is Tom explaining how different detective and other crime-fighting type characters should have pets suited to them. Eh. The last skit is iss playing with a foam dress up Lee Van Cleef dress up doll. Dull.
The episodes of The Master were good, but the episode of MST3K was dull. There were a few funny riffs, but it was a rather dull sit. Like said before I liked the previous 2 episodes of the show and I thought the MST3K was funny too. As a last episode of the 3rd season it was lacking. I personally think Fu Manchu would have been a “great” way to end the season due to the true horror of how bad it is and the triumphant nature of Joel and the Bots still winning. This seemed more like a tacked on epilogue. I’m not one of those guys who says to watch an episode of a long term series out of order, but I would say change the order and put this after Master Ninja I.
Episode Rating – 3/10
Movie Rating – 8/10
Favorite Riff – ‘I don’t usually see them walk away from you.’ “They usually run screaming.”, ‘Closed your door to the senses like you did in the motel room?’ “No I was really dead Tim. I’m the Re-Animator.”
Stinger – Lee creepily holds the gerbil.
Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkgWJWTuu3Y

One thought on “324 – Master Ninja II:”

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